The Line In the Sand and Self Love

I’ve just made a decision, supporting or voting for 45 is now a deal breaker. I don’t want to have people or family who support white supremacy or racism in my life. I got no time for it and I refuse to justify my right to safety in my body and community to anyone, least…

The Sum of 25 Years

As I prepare to move from my home for the last 25 years and two months, I am deeply reflective about what I sacrificed and gained by staying in this little rural bubble for so long. While I’ve been here, I’ve lost numerous people who I loved deeply, I’ve missed grieving these losses with family…

Family Secrets and Life Choices

Sometimes life breaks us apart into pieces we spend the rest of our lives trying to find and piece back together. We may stumble upon a piece of ourselves as we are just going about living our lives and sometimes we conduct an exploration to find some of the pieces of ourselves lying about the…

I’m Exhausted

Maybe it’s because my last kid has left the house and is in college. Or maybe it’s because I’m almost to the point of rounding the final bend to 50. Maybe I’m experiencing a mid-life crisis. Or maybe it’s because I find myself at a crossroads. Regardless of the reason, I’m realizing how deeply exhausted…

It’s a Mind Fuck Being Biracial

So imagine being near 50 years old and being struck by your own racial identity in all of the complexity, beauty, and complication wrapped around that. It’s both glorious and infuriating. At least for me it is. I’ve had a couple of things happen over the last few years that have made me consider my…

2019: My New Hope

A colleague asked me the other day what my work-related hope was and it got me thinking. I want to think larger than work. I know things are beyond horrible for so so many people and there seems to be some new horror daily, if not hourly. But I think maybe there are few glimmers…

Grief and Suicide

Originally published July 3, 2012 Emile Durkheim, one of the seminal founders of sociology as a discipline, studied suicide at the end of the 19th century. His findings underscored many ideas that modern society still recognizes. One of his findings, in particular, has stuck with me, 15 years after my sociology coursework. The finding? That suicide in modern…

My DNA Results

I received my DNA results from Ancestry.com on June 29. I was so excited to learn more about my heritage that I stopped what I was doing and opened the results. Turns out that what I thought I knew about my white half was pretty accurate. Few surprises there (well one but I’ll get to…

Tracing My DNA

Well I finally just ordered my Ancestry.com DNA kit. I’m not sure how I feel about this or if I am ready for this. I have never known my biological father – who he is, where he is, anything about him or that part of my bio-family. I have often wondered. I’ve wondered if I…

Sexual Violence, Children, and Living Beyond

Last night my daughter sent a screen shot of an alert message sent by her university regarding the assault of a woman on campus slightly over 2 hours after the incident. My immediate reaction was “YAY! I’m so glad her university is on top of this stuff and alerting campus to the incident.” And I…

Me and my dogs

I have two dogs. Two dachshunds, wiener dogs, doxies. One has long red hair, he’s Rusty. We got him when he was just months old and my daughter was around 5. He’s been through a lot with us. For years all my daughter could talk about was getting another dog. I was going through a…