Why I’m No Longer Telling White People To Read White Fragility

I’ve been reading, learning, listening over the last several months. I’ve watched while Robin DiAngelo’s White Fragility flew off the shelves with the recent uprisings against systemic racism. I saw the article where it was exposed that she owns 3 homes and the charities she had supported or claimed to support related to fighting systemic…

The Thing About Gaslighting and Abusive Behavior

Listen, all of us need to deeply understand that we are heading into THE most dangerous time in the modern history of this country. I don’t think we are seeing this very clearly. Anyone who understands anything about domestic violence knows that the most dangerous time for a woman leaving an abusive relationship is when…

The Responsibility of Higher Education to Eradicate White Supremacy

Higher education in the United States has a white supremacy problem from root to stem. As with every long-standing system in this country, white supremacy is just baked into our curriculum, processes, and policies. Our inequitable outcomes are perfectly predicatable. The system is working as it was designed. So, in 2020, at this inflection point…

White Accountability to Black Lives

Much has been written in the last several weeks (and in fact, over the years and decades) about what white people can do to get in the struggle for full racial equity, how to be an ally, how to beef up their knowledge base. I don’t intend to rehash any of that. It is Googleable,…

The Intimacy of White Supremacy

I’ve had so much going on in my brain for months now and have not been able to get it out of my bones. Everything I’ve written lately has been trash because I have not been “inspired” to write. I keep trying. Writing is an old friend that I call upon to help me process…

Hugging My Blackness and Holding it Tight

Since doing my DNA I’ve been considering what I’ve learned about myself that I didn’t already think I knew, if and how my identity has changed, and what that means about how I choose to live my life. I’m not sure I have fully developed answers to any of that. I didn’t really learn anything…

This Side of Raising Children

I genuinely like the humans I created. I’m not sure that’s a goal of most parents when they have their first kid. If most people experience what I did, that was the furthest thing from the forefront of my mind. I was terrified of the commitment to this little human being, the length of time…

The Line In the Sand and Self Love

I’ve just made a decision, supporting or voting for 45 is now a deal breaker. I don’t want to have people or family who support white supremacy or racism in my life. I got no time for it and I refuse to justify my right to safety in my body and community to anyone, least…

The Sum of 25 Years

As I prepare to move from my home for the last 25 years and two months, I am deeply reflective about what I sacrificed and gained by staying in this little rural bubble for so long. While I’ve been here, I’ve lost numerous people who I loved deeply, I’ve missed grieving these losses with family…

Family Secrets and Life Choices

Sometimes life breaks us apart into pieces we spend the rest of our lives trying to find and piece back together. We may stumble upon a piece of ourselves as we are just going about living our lives and sometimes we conduct an exploration to find some of the pieces of ourselves lying about the…